I have three grown children. All wonderful, and different in every way. They all have very different goals, personalities and lifestyles. Since they were very young, they had some idea of what they wanted their lives to be like when they grew up. We all did, but sometimes, very often so, those ideas change.
My oldest daughter dreamt of being a fashion designer, living in New York. No plans of marrying or having children.
….She’s very happily married now, with two children that she homeschools and they are starting their homestead in the mountains soon.
My middle child, and only son, always wanted to be a “Bug Scientist”, married with five children.
….He’s a Medical Laboratory Scientist that travels with his job. He has a steady girlfriend, they work in the same field, would like to eventually marry, and are not sure if they will decide to have children.
My youngest daughter, always wanted to be an artist and rescue animals. Wasn’t really sure of wanting to marry and definitely didn’t want children.
….She is currently in school for graphic art, has a wonderful boyfriend she wants to marry eventually, and still has absolutely no desire to have children.
I know a lot of times, as we grow older and our children grow up, we have that yearning desire to become grandparents. We want to carry on the family name, create a legacy and pass on our genes. It’s biological. It’s a survival instinct. It’s a right of passage! We earned the right to be an elder, a grandparent and to enjoy fruits of our labor. Right? …Wrong.
When we were younger, it was our choice to have children. Either by birth or adoption, it was your choice. ( I’m not going even get into the most recent political debates on this choice, I shall try to keep this post peaceful, and insightful. )
So we should not automatically assume that our children will make the same choice. Deep down, you may be yearning to become a grandparent, but if your child has decided that parenthood is not for them, please respect that choice.
We live in a crazy, wonderful world! We have so many different political, religious, gender, lifestyle, career, and “life-meaning” opinions. Just because you gave birth, or raised a child, does not mean that they are a carbon copy of you. They have their own ideas of what they want, and who they are. Respect that! If they want children, love them! Be that wonderful grandparent and support their choice. If they want to be fur baby parents, love them! Treat those wonderful fur-grandbabies with love and respect. If your child chooses to be solitary, traveling, home-body, married, not married, polyamorous, or whatever they choose! Please respect that choice. Love your child for who they are, not what you expect them to be. Love with an open heart. No judgments, expectations or pressure to please you. Their choices are theirs alone.
Like many of us, my family is my life. I am absolutely grateful for each and every person in my family. It’s not always a blood bond, it’s a love bond. You choose your tribe, your family. That family can be varied and eclectic. Mine definitely is! I have human children, fur children, human grandchildren, fur grandchildren, blood relatives, marriage relatives and friends as close as family. I encourage you to love them all and love their choices! After all, that is what makes each of us who we are.
“Making Grandparenting Glorious!”